


Christmas in the Metro Division

by InfinityUndone



Series: The chaotic lives of 1010 [5]
Category: No Straight Roads (Video Game)
Genre: Background Relationships, Brotherly Affection, Christmas, Christmas Morning, Christmas Party, Christmas Shopping, Christmas Special, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Gift Giving, Heartwarming, Humor, Neon J is still a tired dad, Neon J still has a new head, Slice of Life, There's Continuity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27929563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfinityUndone/pseuds/InfinityUndone
Summary: Christmas has come to Vinyl City once again, and the holiday spirit is in the air! Holly and tinsel lining the buildings, carolers singing in the streets, eggnog and cookies...And a ton of work for a certain android boy band and their manager.But hey, it's Christmas! And everything turns out okay at Christmas, right?
Relationships: 1010 & Neon J. (No Straight Roads)
Series: The chaotic lives of 1010 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939252
Comments: 32
Kudos: 133





	1. Captcha troubles

**Author's Note:**

> Ah yeah, it's Christmas fic time!

December had come to Vinyl City. The streets and storefronts were lined with strings of colorful lights and holly hung over every door. The Grand Qwasa was decorated with an enormous Christmas tree, officially marking the return of the holiday season.

The Metro Division was already in full Christmas swing. The streets shone with red, green, and white, and 1010’s Holiday Hits played from every loudspeaker in the district. Barraca Mansion’s gates were adorned with garlands, wreaths, and tinsel.

The inside of the mansion, however, was much less festive. It’s residents hadn’t gotten around to decorating it yet. But even so, the holiday spirit was in full force.

Red found Yellow on his laptop in the downstairs living room. “Hey, bro.” he greeted him.

“Morning, Red!” Yellow replied. “Hey, what are you getting Dad for Christmas?”

“New power drill. Why?”

“I’m ordering my present for him right now, and I don’t want to get the same thing as one of you guys. Speaking of which, do you know what everyone else is getting him?”

“No. Just ask them.”

“But I don’t know where they are.”

“Dude,” Red said, “just send them a system message.”

“Oh, yeah.” Yellow did just that.

**Yellow: Hey guys, what gifts are you getting Dad?**

**Blue: A jacket.**

**White: I’m giving him a new Swiss Army Knife and something else, I’m not sure what yet.**

**Green: It’s a secret.**

**Yellow: Come on Green, I have to know!**

**Green: You’ll find out on Christmas morning! But trust me on this, we won’t accidentally get him the same thing.**

**Yellow: Dash underscore dash.**

**Yellow: I meant -_-**

“So what are you buying?” Red asked.

“I found this screwdriver set online, thought it’d make a good present.” Yellow beckoned him over to take a look.

“Huh, neat.”

Yellow clicked the link and the site came up. “Oh look, it’s asking if I’m a robot. I wonder where the yes button is?” he said with an eye roll. “Oh, and now I have to do a Captcha, how will I ever figure out with my robot processor which tiles have cars in them? I… uh oh.”

“What?”

“I can’t tell which tiles are the correct ones.” Yellow said in confusion.

“Very funny.”

“No, I actually can’t.”

“What do you mean, you can’t?” Red scoffed.

“I literally can’t tell.”

Red took a look at the screen. “Come on, it’s obvious… wait, what?”

“See, I told you!” Yellow exclaimed.

“I can’t tell which ones have cars either!” Red stared at the screen, trying to figure it out. “What the hell? I’ve seen other captchas and this hasn’t happened before.”

Yellow leaned in as close as he could to the screen. “Maybe… if I stare at it for long enough… I’ll figure it out…” He pulled his head back. “Okay, this isn’t working. I’m getting a processor-ache.”

“Wait, I have an idea!” Red said. “Take a picture of it with your phone, and then we can look at that to figure it out.”

“Genius!” Yellow snapped a quick photo, and opened up his photos app. His face fell. “I still can’t tell. What is going on?!”

“Goddamit.” Red muttered.

Yellow opened a new tab and looked up captcha examples. “I wonder if it’s just this specific captcha, or if all of them screw us up somehow.”

They spent a minute looking over the images before Red sighed. “All of these I can solve. I think it’s that specific one.”

“But why?” Yellow wondered. “How is just one captcha messing up our heads when we can solve like a hundred other ones? What is going _on_ here?”

“How should I know?” Red snapped. “Ask Dad!”

“No! He’ll see what I’m getting him!”

“Ask Green or Blue, then!”

“What makes you think they’d be any better at solving this stupid thing than us?!”

“Well shit then, what do we do?!” demanded Red.

“I-”

“What’s this argument about, troops?” An exasperated voice stopped them in their tracks. Turning around, they saw Neon J standing behind them.

“Uhhhhh…”

“Ummmm…”

“… Sayu.” Yellow finally said.

Neon J raised an eyebrow.

“Red said that Sayu, uh, should have more, uh… realistic… fins.”

It was the most obvious lie he’d ever told, and Neon J clearly knew it, but didn’t have the time or energy to deal with it at the moment.

“Right… do either of you know where my soldering iron is?”

“Ask Green, he’s usually the one who borrows your stuff.” Red said.

Neon J left, and Yellow and Red breathed a sigh of relief.

“Really dude? We were arguing about Sayu’s _fins_ , of all things?”

“Come on man, I’m not great at acting on the spot!” exclaimed Yellow. “Well, no, that’s not true. I’m great at answering on the spot, but what I come up with is always bad.”

“Like the time you tried to sneak out of the house and Dad caught you and you said you wanted to get Mcdonalds?”

“How was that a stupid lie?”

“Because you’re a robot who can’t eat anything!”

“Okay, you’re right, that was a pretty dumb one.” Yellow conceded.

They were quiet for a moment, before Yellow said “Sorry I yelled at you, I’m just stressed about the gift.”

“It’s fine. But what are you gonna do about it?”

“I have no clue. Got any ideas?”

Red thought for a moment. “Well…”

* * *

Tatiana was unpleased about getting an urgent FaceTime request for something so trivial, but she did help them, so it all worked out.


	2. Shop til you drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neon J decides to get all of his Christmas shopping over in one trip. But at what cost?

It was time. To do the one thing that every parent dreaded when December came.

Christmas shopping.

Neon J looked over the wishlist 1010 had given him. White and Green had written down everything they wanted exactly, with White even including instructions on where to find some of his gifts. Blue and Yellow’s were a little more broad, such as _“torn skinny jeans”_ and _“Haikyuu poster”_. And Red he was pretty sure had just written down whatever was running through his processor at the time, because his list was filled with things like _“lightsaber but real”_ , _“skydive”_ , and _“something to make white mad”_.

So he had his work cut out for him.

After much deliberation, research, and planning, he knew what he was getting the boys, and he knew the most efficient way to do it.

STEP 1: Go to Skystone Mall in Dreamfever, preferably at a time guaranteed to have less shoppers.

STEP 2: Go to Gamestop on the first floor and get a copy of Omega Samurai Fighter Pilots III: Tale of the Undying Ronin for Yellow.

STEP 3: Go to Leather-4-Ever on the first floor and get a white leather jacket for Blue.

STEP 4: Go to Barnes and Noble on the second floor and get volumes I-VI of The History Of Music for White.

STEP 5: Go to Everything Sports on the third floor and get a pair of skis for Red.

STEP 6: Go to Robotics Land on the third floor and get a new set of tools for Green.

STEP 7: Return home hopefully in one piece, sneak the presents inside through the basement window.

If everything went according to plan, he’d get all of his Christmas shopping over in one session, and be back at home before sunset.

“Troops, I’m running errands, and I should be back in a couple of hours! Your orders are to practice for our Christmas concert while I’m gone!” Neon J announced to 1010.

“Sir, yes sir!” they responded, and before long Neon J was speeding through the streets of Vinyl City.

Traffic wasn't nearly as bad as he thought it would be, but that was where his luck ran out. When he pulled around the corner into the Skystone parking lot, he saw it was completely packed. A sea of cars spread in all directions, with people weaving around them trying to get to their spots.

It was just a minor setback. All plans had one when put into action, it was to be expected. He could still pull this off.

It took Neon J nearly half an hour to find parking, and then he had to walk across the entire lot to get to the building. It was tedious and annoying, and he could feel his temper rising, but he forced it down. Getting upset would only further harm the mission.

The mall was jammed full of shoppers. They choked the entrances to the stores and filled the halls to the brim. The roar of people talking mixed with the Christmas tunes playing in the background gave Neon J an immediate processor-ache.

He ordered himself to focus. Step one was getting Yellow’s present from Gamestop. Thankfully, the store wasn’t far, and after a lot of weaving around people walking too slow, he got to it.

There weren’t a lot of people in the store, but enough to make it feel crowded. Neon J started searching through the shelves of games, trying to find the one Yellow asked for.

“Hello sir, can I help you with anything?” He turned around to see one of the Gamestop employees. The young man’s expression changed and he gasped “Oh my god, you’re Neon J!”

“Do you have Omega Samurai Fighter Pilots III?” Neon J asked.

“Uh, I’m afraid we’re out…”

“Out?!”

“Yeah, it's just flying off the shelves. We’re hoping to get another shipment later this week.”

Neon J sighed and started mentally redoing the plan to account for this.

“But the Gamestop on the third floor might still have it.” the employee added.

Neon J stopped. How had he forgotten about the second location? “Excellent! I’ll check there!” he exclaimed, and ran out of the store back into the throngs of shoppers.

He managed to find his way through the crowds to Leather-4-Ever, where he procured a very nice leather jacket for Blue. So the operation wasn’t completely falling apart, at least. It took him way longer than it should have to get to Barnes and Noble on the second floor, mostly because of how backed up the escalators were, but he found all the books White wanted.

Red’s gift was where things started to go wrong again.

“We only sell snowboards.” the Everything Sports employee told him.

“You only sell snowboards?” Neon J repeated in disbelief.

“No skis, just snowboards.”

Neon J looked at the wall of skis labelled **_DOWNHILL SKIS_** five feet away from him. “Why do you have skis right over there then?”

“Those are snowboards.” the employee said without batting an eye.

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yep. We only sell snowboards.”

Neon J bit back every angry response boiling up in his throat and replaced them with “Fine, I’ll get a snowboard then.”

“Those snowboards aren’t for sale.” the employee said.

“Well then, where are the ones for sale?!”

“We don’t have any snowboards in stock right now.”

“But there’s a wall of them right next to us!”

The employee stared at the wall of skis for a few seconds before saying “Uh, those are skis, dude.”

“Wha… I… But that’s…” Neon J could feel his mental processors short-circuiting as he tried to figure out what exactly this conversation had turned into.

He got the skis. How, he didn’t know. But he got them, and that was what mattered.

He just had to go to Robotics Land and the second Gamestop. Then he could get out of this horrible mall.

Robotics Land was swarming with shoppers trying to get at the latest sales. Neon J fought his way through the crowd, nearly losing his shopping bags several times. He had to be extremely careful to not clock anyone in the face with his metal arms.

The toolkit he wanted was still there, much to his relief, and after waiting in an unbelievably long checkout line, he was on his way to the second Gamestop...

And then he felt his ankle break under him, sending him to the floor.

“Oof! What the…” he groaned. Twisting around to see his leg, he saw the ankle joint was bent and fractured. He dragged himself over to a nearby bench to get a closer look.

How the hell did that happen? His prosthetics rarely broke. It didn’t matter, he could fix it-

 _“Attention shoppers, the Skystone Mall will be closing in thirty minutes.”_ blared the intercom.

Okay, fixing it could wait. He had to get to Gamestop _now._

Neon J managed to stand up, ignoring the warnings his processor sent him, gathered up his bags, and began hobbling as fast as he could down the hallway, hoping his foot wouldn’t fall off.

The Gamestop was a mercifully short distance away, and when he entered, one of the employees looked at him worriedly and said “Sir, we’re closing soon… also, are you okay?”

“Do you have Omega Samurai Fighter Pilots III?” he gasped out.

“Um…” the employee checked quickly. “Actually, we do. You’re in luck, it’s our last copy.”

“Oh thank god!” Neon J exclaimed. Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel…

He quickly paid for the game, and left the store. Not even the insane amounts of people choking the mall exits or the hundreds of cars trying to leave at the same time could dampen his relief. He’d done it. Christmas shopping was over.

Getting to the car took twice as long with how much he was carrying and his broken foot, but the repair kit in the trunk was able to fix his ankle enough so that he could drive. The gifts were loaded in the back, and soon Neon J was driving home.

Well, driving was a strong word. More like crawling at a snail's pace hoping the traffic jams would clear up soon.

The moon was hanging above the skyline by the time he got back to Baracca Mansion. He pulled into the driveway, and stopped to sneak the presents inside through the basement window. With that done, he pulled into the garage, longing for his comfy bed.

Unfortunately, the second he got out of the car, Green stepped out of the house. “Hey Dad!” he called. His expression changed to one of concern when he saw Neon J. “Whoa, you look wiped out.”

“What is it, soldier?” Neon J asked exhaustedly.

“Uh, that guy from the robotics lab is here to see you.”

“Oh god, that was today.” Neon J muttered. He’d foolishly thought he’d be home in time for the meeting. “Where is he?”

“We let him in the dining room, but, uh, we should probably tell him to come back another day, because you really don’t look too good.”

“No! It would be rude to break the meeting.”

“Dad, I can tell you’re about to pass out from exhaustion.” Green said worriedly.

“Well, I’m not.”

Neon J took five steps and just slumped to the ground unconscious.

Thankfully, 1010 were able to reschedule the meeting after they carried him to bed.

And so, Neon J got all of his Christmas shopping over in one trip, something he never tried to do again.


	3. The all new-and-improved 1010

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 1010's turn for a new look...

Every year around this time, 1010 would hold their Christmas concert. It was always a huge hit, and surely this year would be no exception. With the performance drawing closer and closer, Neon J had finally gotten the finishing touches on their costumes done, and ready for a test run.

“Can’t we just go with the Nutcracker Princes theme again?” Blue asked wearily as Neon J led them to his workshop.

“No!” said Yellow. “I’m so tired of that one! We did it three years in a row, and I want something new.”

“But reindeer? How are we even gonna make that look good?”

“We’re 1010! We can make anything look good!” White said optimistically.

“Right you are, soldier!” Neon J said. “Now, I’ve got a few upgrades ready for the occasion…”

“Oh geez, what? Antlers and a red nose?” Blue muttered.

With a flourish, Neon J pulled out five mechanical reindeer heads. “How do these look, troops?”

There was silence for a few moments while everyone took it in.

“Uhhhh, they’re very… smiley.” White said.

The heads had cheesy grins frozen on their faces, and giant round eyes that stared deep into 1010’s mechanical souls.

“So, how do they work? Do we put them over our heads like a mask or what?” Yellow asked.

“No, I’ll be replacing your current heads with them.” Neon J answered.

“Ah.”

“They have the same capabilities as your regular heads.” Neon J said proudly. “Who wants to go first?”

1010 all gave each other the side-eye for a few awkward moments until Green stepped up. “I guess I’ll go.”

Ten minutes and a minor surgery later, Green was turned back on and stood up to try out his fresh new head.

“So, how is it?” Red asked.

Green blinked a few times. “Uh, it feels okay, gonna take some getting used to…”

He turned and nearly fell over. “Whoa! Okay, I’m a little off-balance. The nose is pretty heavy.”

Green’s new reindeer head had his signature hairstyle, which added to its absurd look.

“So, how does it look?” he asked his brothers nervously.

“It’s… gonna make a huge impression on the fans.” Blue said.

“Hey, why don’t we all try them on?” White said.

And a short while later, they all had on the deer heads, and were trying to get used to them.

“Huh, this is new-OW!” White smacked his new muzzle into a door frame. Behind him, Yellow and Red were dueling with their antlers, and Blue was trying to figure out how he could wear his signature shades.

“So troops, what do you think?”

1010 looked at each other, then at Neon J’s expression of gleeful anticipation.

“...They’re great!” White said.

“Yeah! They’ve got a lot of charm.” Green said.

“I think they’re gonna be a huge hit.” added Yellow.

“Thank you, troops.” Neon J said with a smile. “Go wear them around the house for a bit. I need to finish a few things here before we start practice.”

“Sir, yes sir!” 1010 replied before leaving the workshop.

Once they were sure Neon J couldn’t hear them, Blue sighed “We look absolutely ridiculous.”

“Oh god, what are the fans gonna think?” Yellow wondered.

“We’re gonna get ripped apart on social media.”

“What I’m worried about is that we look completely different.” White said. “We can’t even change our expressions! I don’t know how the audience is going to react to that, with all the emphasis we put on our looks and stuff.”

“I mean, we did that Halloween show with pumpkin heads, and that was well-received.” Green mused.

“We didn’t wear the pumpkins the whole time, though.” Red pointed out.

“Yeah…”

“So if we all agree these things aren’t the best idea, why did we tell Dad it was?” Blue demanded.

“You saw what he looked like! He put so much work into these! You wanna tell him we lied about liking them, go right ahead!” White snapped.

There were a few moments of silence.

“...I mean, now that I’ve worn it for a bit, it doesn’t look so bad.” Yellow spoke up.

“Yeah. The eyes aren’t as creepy now that we’re actually using them.” said Red.

“And they’ve got this silly charm to them.” mused Blue.

“Who knows? Maybe they’ll be a huge hit. We won’t know til we try, right?” Green said with optimism.

“You’re right! I say we give them a shot.” White declared. “Now, c’mon! Let’s go test out our dance moves with these things on!”

As they walked through the mansion to the studio, Blue suddenly stopped in his tracks and whispered “Oh no.”

“What?” Red wondered.

“I just realized, if these heads are a hit, we’re probably going to attract a new demographic.”

“Which one?” White asked, a nervous feeling growing in his processor.

“The furry fanbase.”

“...Oh _shit!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, when I heard No Straight Roads was getting Christmas-themed DLC, I was like "Ooh, I bet 1010 are Nutcracker Princes!"  
> Nope, perpetually-grinning reindeer. Took me a few days to warm up to the designs, but they're just silly enough to work.


	4. The NSR Christmas party: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The annual NSR Christmas party is here! And with two people nobody expected to come...

The NSR Christmas party was an annual event, and the only official holiday party held by the company. The megastars would and the higher-ups at the company would all be there, and no doubt some paparazzi would try to sneak in, too. It was the time everyone could let their hair down a little.

When 1010 and Neon J got into the NSR Tower’s party room, which was tastefully decorated for the occasion, they saw they were among the first ones there. Tatiana was there, looking very different than her usual self, as she was dressed in some kind of ice queen robes. Eve was also there in one of her elaborate outfits.

“Neon J, 1010, good to see all of you.” Tatiana greeted them with her usual professional demeanor.

The six of them saluted her.

“Hi Eve. Nice outfit.” Blue said.

“Thank you. It is meant to be a commentary on how Christmas is commercialized while other holidays such as Hanukkah are not.”

“Cool.”

Eve looked at him critically. “I did see your concert on TV the other night. Your costumes were… interesting. What did they mean? What was the symbolism behind them?” she asked.

“Uh… we left it up to interpretation.” Blue said.

DJ Subatomic Supernova walked in after that. “Evening everyone.” he said in his usual cool tone.

“Hey DJ Subatomic! Your costume isn’t complete!” Yellow called to him.

The DJ was wearing a classic Santa suit, but had neglected to put on a fake beard. He was also just wearing red shorts instead of Santa pants.

“Hmmph. Fake beards aren’t my style.”

“What about the shorts?” Yellow asked as the sight of his extremely hairy legs burned into his memory banks.

“I like shorts. They’re comfy and easy to wear.” was DJ SS’s annoyed response.

Yellow was mercifully distracted from the sight of leg hair by the arrival of Yinu and her mother. “Hi guys!” Yinu flounced in dressed as an adorable angel. Kassia was wearing a similar dress bedecked in boughs of holly.

“Hey, Yinu! How’d the Christmas concert go?” White gave the girl a high-five in greeting.

“It was awesome! But I hope I never have to play All I Want For Christmas Is You ever again…”

“I don’t blame you. That stupid song makes me want to rip my ears off.” Red said as he walked up.

“I had to practice it soooo much! I don’t even know why people like it!” Yinu huffed. “And it got stuck in my head for ages!”

“Yeah. I’m glad we didn’t have to sing that one.” White said.

Yinu perked up then. “Did you guys see my concert?”

“Yep! Well, most of it. We had to practice for our concert the next day. But you did really good!”

“We watched your concert, didn’t we, Yinu?” Kassia said with a smile.

“Yeah! Your reindeer heads were really funny!”

“Funny, yeah…” Red muttered, exchanging an embarrassed look with White.

The debut of the reindeer heads had gone over surprisingly well with the audience. Once people had gotten over the initial shock, they’d been called “cute”, “charming” and “a nice change of pace”.

Unfortunately the designs had also led to an unholy union between the furry and robosexual communities. Some of the art that had come from this would haunt 1010 til the end of their days.

“Well, uh, I’m glad you liked them.” White said awkwardly. “Why don’t we get some eggnog?”

“I thought you couldn’t drink stuff.” Yinu said as they headed to the refreshments table.

Team Sayu showed up right about then. “Merry Christmas!” Sofa, the most outgoing member of the group called. They were all wearing incredibly gaudy Christmas themed sweaters.

“H-hi!” Tila approached Blue and Green, to their surprise. Sayu’s team members were all pretty quiet and awkward most of the time, but Tila rarely talked to anyone. “Um, I just wanted to say, that, um, I really liked your concert!” Her face was blushing dark blue.

“Thanks! We saw yours the other night, it was really good!” Green replied.

“Oh! Th-thanks! We uh, worked really hard on it!” Tila squeaked.

“Yeah. Sayu’s design was a pain to complete.” Remi joined the conversation.

“The tree ornament idea was genius.” Blue told him. “It would’ve been so easy to just stick a Santa hat on her or something and call it a day, but you guys went the extra mile. It paid off too, she looked awesome!”

“Aw, thanks man!” Remi beamed. “That was one of our most taxing concerts yet.”

“It was pretty a-awesome, but I’m glad to get a break now.” Tila added.

“What are you guys doing for the holidays?” Green asked.

“Dodo and I are gonna spend it at his family’s place.” Remi said. “Sofa’s taking a vacation with his folks.”

“And I-I’m going to see my grandparents.” Tila said. “They, uh, they live in the Philippines. I haven’t seen them in a long time, so it-it’ll be nice!”

“That’s cool. I don’t think we’re going anywhere, but Red’s been bugging Dad about a ski trip, so he might surprise us with it.” Blue mused.

And just then, the door to the room opened, and two people none of them expected to see walked in.

“Hi everyone!” the girl called Mayday announced. Her partner, the boy named Zuke, strode in behind her.

The room was silent except for the Christmas tunes playing in the background.

Mayday pressed on unabashed, despite the poor reception they’d gotten. “Oh my gosh, Zuke, can you believe we’re at our first NSR party?”

“Yeah, um, why don’t we get some refreshments?” Zuke said awkwardly, and he steered Mayday towards the table.

Neon J nearly short-circuited at the sight of them. He sidled up to Tatiana and whispered “What are _they_ doing here?”

“I invited them.” Tatiana said severely.

“WHY?!”

Tatiana glared at him. “Whatever your personal feelings towards them are, you can’t deny they’ve done a lot for this city. There is a very real possibility that they will join the ranks of NSR one day, and I want to build goodwill between them and my employees before that happens.”

“Done a lot for this city, sure, but only after they nearly destroyed it!” Neon J exclaimed, not caring if the rockers heard him. “They may not have been responsible for the satellite, but they still tore through everything in their path without a thought, including my-”

He cut himself off.

Tatiana’s expression softened. “Neon J, I understand it may be difficult for you to put aside your dislike of them. But rest assured, Bunk Bed Junction’s past actions are not something they will ever repeat. They are here as my guests, and in the extremely unlikely event something happens with them, I will take full responsibility.”

Neon J sighed. “I suppose you are right.” Tatiana patted him on the shoulder and went to talk to the newcomers, who were stuffing their faces at the refreshments table.

No matter what Tatiana said, Neon J still wouldn’t trust those two. If they so much as laid a finger on his boys, he would personally make sure they never held a guitar again.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe those guys are here.” muttered Blue.

“Eve looks like she’s gonna lose it.” said Green.

“Isn’t that Zuke guy her ex?” wondered Remi.

“Y-yeah, he is… That’s gotta be really awkward…” whispered Tila.

“It’s awkward for everyone! They beat the tar out of everyone here!” said Red, joining the conversation.

“Not Team Sayu. Or Yinu.” White broke in.

“Yeah, they only deleted Sayu and completely destroyed Yinu’s piano in front of her. That’s _so_ much better.” said Blue.

“Sofa spent like, a whole week trying to get Sayu back. That was the most stressful week of our lives.” said Remi. “I think it took years off his lifespan.”

“If the s-stress didn’t do it, all the coffee he drank did.” Tila said. “I think the final tally was like, one hundred cups in eight days.”

“Yikes. You know, it might be a good thing Dad physically can’t drink coffee, because I don’t think he’d ever sleep if he did.” Green said.

“I’m going to talk to them.” White declared.

“Are you serious?” demanded Red.

“They’re not gonna hurt me! Besides, I want to have a chat with them.” White strode off in the direction of Bunk Bed Junction, who had moved away from the refreshment table. The others watched him go with bated breath.

“At least they don’t have their instruments on them.” Green said. “I still remember getting smashed with those drumsticks. How did that even work? They’re drumsticks!”

White’s conversation with Mayday and Zuke seemed to be going civilly, at the very least. Mayday looked immensely happy, and pulled out her phone for a picture, which White obliged. Zuke looked a little less excited, at his arrival, but he was distracted a minute later, when Eve walked up and started a conversation with him.

“Huh.” said Remi. “I guess this won’t go so bad after all.”

“Yeah…” said Blue, a hint of skepticism still in his voice.

Just then, Yellow ran up. “Guys! Guys!”

“What?”

“Look!”

“Yes, we can see White is talking to Bunk Bed Junction.” said Red with an eye-roll.

“No, not that. Look at DJ Subatomic.”

They glanced in the direction he was pointing. The DJ was standing at the refreshments table, gathering a plate of cookies.

“Yeah, and?” Blue asked.

“How is he gonna eat that? He doesn’t have a mouth.”

Everyone looked at the DJ with more interest this time.

“I… never really thought about it.” Green said.

“I always j-just thought that globe was a helmet.” Tila said.

“It can’t possibly be a helmet. His head would be smaller than a basketball.” Blue said.

“Wait! He’s gonna eat one!” Red said.

As they watched, DJ Subatomic raised a cookie to his face, and to their amazement, a bite magically appeared in it.

“Whaaaaaaat…” whispered Yellow while everyone else's jaws dropped.

“Okay, I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.” Remi said.

“Huh. Well, now we know.” Blue said. Tila, Green, and Red were all still in shock at what they just witnessed.

Just then, a group of waiters entered the room, carrying with them various types of alcohol. They set them on the refreshments table.

“Uh oh.” Blue said.

And the party really began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo, company Christmas parties are so much fun to write!  
> I figured this chapter would be a good time to do two things: Give Team Sayu actual personalities, and introduce Bunk Bed Junction. I didn't have any really good ideas for Team Sayu before now, so that's why they barely got any lines or characterization before now.  
> And as for Mayday and Zuke, I wanted to explore a bit how everyone would react to them showing up. Especially Neon J and 1010, being the main characters of these fics. Neon J isn't very excited to see them again, and 1010, well, you'll see...


	5. The NSR Christmas party: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas party chaos continues.

For the last twenty-five years, Neon J had been completely unable to eat or drink anything. The taste of his favorite foods and drinks were only distant memories.

As awful as it was to not be able to eat anything, it was a blessing in some ways. He’d heard so many tales of his old army buddies who’d turned to alcohol in an attempt to forget the things they’d seen and done and drunk themselves into an early grave. It was a fate he’d escaped because of physical limitation, not willpower.

And yet, when he looked at a sea of his wasted coworkers making fools of themselves, a part of him wished he could drink himself into a blackout just so he wouldn’t have to remember this whole crappy night.

“Hey! Neo! N-Neon guy! I don’t remember your full name.” DJ Subatomic Supernova was barely staying on his feet.

“It’s Neon J.”

“Right, yeah, Neon J… anyway, I got- I got something to tell you. It’s reaaaaally important.” slurred the DJ.

“What is it?” Neon J asked wearily.

DJ Subatomic clasped him on the shoulder. “Look, I know that I act like a-a huge dick most of the time, but I actually seriously appreciate you and… all the stuff you do.” Despite how obviously drunk he was, his tone was completely earnest.

“Er...Thank you, DJ Subatomic.”

With that, the drunken DJ staggered away.

Meanwhile, the few other people who weren’t drinking were standing by the wall watching the chaos unfold. The group consisted of 1010, Tila, and Sofa. Yinu had gone home early with her chauffeur.

“Why aren’t you guys joining in?” Blue asked Tila and Sofa.

“I’m n-not actually old enough to drink.” Tila said.

“And I don’t drink at all.” Sofa sighed and looked over to where Dodo and Remi were standing under a sprig of mistletoe, sloppily making out. “Jeez, getting those two home is gonna be a trip.”

The rest of the room wasn’t much better. Mayday and Kassia, of all people, were belting out karaoke Christmas songs together. Zuke was chilling in the corner watching them. Eve was drunkenly sobbing about something to Tatiana, DJ Subatomic was just stumbling around, and the various other guests were also wasted.

“Damn, that kinda looks like fun.” Red said wistfully.

“Yeah, nothing like making a fool out of yourself in front of all your coworkers and feeling like you took a sledgehammer to the brain in the morning.” Blue said.

“Well how would you know? You’ve never been hungover before.”

“How would you know being drunk is fun if you’ve never been drunk before?”

Red just decided it wasn’t worth the effort to argue with him.

“Heeeeeey, 1010!” Mayday had abandoned Kassia to sing alone, and was heading over toward them, nearly tripping on her own feet in her inebriated state.

“Oh shit, she’s coming over here! Don't make eye contact, maybe she’ll leave!” Yellow whispered, trying to hide behind White.

“Dude, she’s not gonna hurt us.” White said.

“She’s totally wasted! Wasted people do dumb things!”

“1010! I’m- I’m such a huge fan.” Mayday slurred. “You guys are super fucking hot. And- and I’m sorry I ripped your handsome faces off. Zuke said we should probably say sorry for that one.”

“It’s okay, we forgive you.” White said, to which Red hissed at him “No we don’t!”

Mayday finally seemed to notice Sofa and Tila standing there. “Oh heeeeeey guys! I don’t- I don’t actually know your names. But Sayu is so cute. Holy shit. So cute.”

“...Thanks.” Sofa said, while Tila cowered next to him, no doubt remembering the last time she and Mayday had crossed paths.

“You’re welcome!” Mayday said cheerily, before her phone pinged. Pulling it out, she sighed “Aww, Ellie’s here to pick us up.” She turned and yelled across the room “ZUKE!”

“Wha?” Zuke looked up from his spot in the corner.

“Ellie’s here! We gotta go!”

Zuke was obviously hammered and on the verge of blacking out, but he still managed to stumble to his feet and get to Mayday, who dragged him to the door.

“Well, I guess we’re going! Bye everyone! Merry Christmas!” Mayday called to the room. Zuke could only manage a wave. Nobody in the room really acknowledged their leaving, but Mayday didn’t seem to care. She took Zuke by the arm and helped him out of the room.

“Uh, wait here guys, I have to talk to them!” White said suddenly.

“What? Why?” demanded Blue.

“They, uh, they left something behind! I’ll be right back!” White took off running after them.

“What’s that all about?” Green wondered.

Blue stared after White, wondering the same.

“Well Tila, why don’t we get those two idiots home?” Sofa said.

“Yeah, I’m r-ready to leave.”

“Then c’mon. I’ll help Dodo, you help Remi.”

The two of them left to pry Dodo and Remi apart, and White returned to the room, shoving something in his pocket as he entered.

“What’s in your pocket?” Blue asked him.

“Hm? Nothing. Are you guys ready to leave?”

“Yeah.” said Yellow. “It looks like the party’s breaking up anyway.”

Sofa and Tila had gotten Remi and Dodo, and were leading them to the door. As they walked past 1010, Dodo whispered “Sofa, I did a bad thing.”

“What was it?” Sofa asked wearily.

“I cheated on Remi…”

“What? When?”

“Just now… under the mistletoe… I was making out with this super cute guy…”

“That _was_ Remi, you wasted idiot!” Sofa snapped.

“Oh! Really?” A smile broke across Dodo’s face. “Hey Remi! I didn’t cheat on you after all!”

Remi, who was being supported by Tila, didn’t seem too happy at the news. “I’m so alone...” he sobbed.

Neon J was trapped by Eve and Tatiana. Tatiana evidently belonged to the same school of drunkenness as Zuke, because she was just standing there unsteadily, barely speaking a word. Her hair was ablaze, and slowly reaching closer to the sprinklers on the ceiling. Eve had makeup streaking down her face and her hair was coming out of it’s meticulously styled bun.

“And-and then,” Eve choked out in between sniffles and sobs, “he-he just left me! Just like that! I didn’t e-even do anything, ‘cept set his hair on fire!”

“That’s men for you…” mumbled Tatiana.

Neon J looked like he was silently wishing for death.

“Hey Dad, we’re ready to go.” Red said cautiously.

The look of _oh thank god_ was visible on Neon J’s face. He managed to extract himself from Tatiana and Eve’s clutches and whispered to 1010 “Let’s get out of here, troops.” They couldn’t agree more.

The sound of Kassia and DJ Subatomic’s off-key singing was cut off by the elevator doors and replaced with the faint sounds of elevator music Christmas carols.

“Well, that was a party.” Green said as they traveled downwards.

“Yep.” everyone else chorused.

“So Dad, did’ya learn anything interesting from Eve and the boss?” Yellow asked teasingly.

“Not unless you consider the entire history of Eve’s love life interesting.” grumbled Neon J.

“I mean, I bet the tabloids would kill for that, but…”

“So White, what was so important to return to Bunk Bed Junction?” Blue asked pointedly.

“Oh, um, Mayday lost her, uh, hairclip.” White said.

“Hmm. I bet.” White gave Blue a glare to tell him to shut up.

The elevator doors opened with a ding. Before they could even take a full step, the fire alarms started blaring across through the tower, and the sprinklers opened up.

“GAAAAH! RUN!” yelped Red. The six of them sprinted across the lobby, trying to shield themselves from the water raining down on them. They threw open the doors and made it to the safely of the outdoors.

“Oh gross, what even is this? Is this water? It’s black and slimy!” exclaimed Yellow in disgust.

“It’s probably been in the pipes for years.” Green explained as he wrung his jacket out.

“Huh, I guess Tatiana’s hair fire did eventually reach the ceiling.” Blue said.

“Okay.” sighed Neon J. “Let’s just leave before the fire trucks get here.”

They piled into the limo, soaking wet, and drove off in silence.

“I think that went better than last year.” White eventually said. “No broken bones or flaming guitars, at least.”

They had to agree with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy drunks: DJ Subatomic Supernova, Mayday, Kassia  
> Sad drunks: Eve, Remi  
> Barely concious drunks: Zuke, Tatiana  
> Flirty drunks: Dodo


	6. The morning of giving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally the day everyone's been waiting for.

The sun rose over Baracca Mansion, marking the dawn of a new day. Not just any day, however. This one was special.

“WAKE UP GUYS! IT’S CHRISTMAS!” Yellow screeched down the hallway.

“IT’S ALSO SIX IN THE GODDAMN MORNING! GO BACK TO BED!” Red yelled back.

“BUT IT’S CHRISTMAS-” Yellow was interrupted by a pillow flung into his face from Blue’s doorway.

“He’s right! Wake us up in two hours!” Blue snapped.

“You all are such grinches.” Yellow grumbled and turned to Green, the only other person who wanted to get up at this hour. “So, we’ve got two hours to kill. What should we do?”

“Wanna help me decorate my hair?” Green asked.

* * *

When everyone else got up two hours later, Green’s hair loop was bedazzled with tiny string lights and a star tree topper.

“Morning, guys. Nice hair.” yawned Blue.

“Merry Christmas!” Green said cheerfully.

“Merry Christmas, bros.” White said, clapping him and Yellow on the shoulders. “Ready to open presents?”

“Well yeah, or he wouldn’t have woken us up like a screaming maniac.” Red muttered, though his tone was less annoyed than usual.

Neon J joined them then. “Merry Christmas, troops.” he said, a smile on his face.

“Merry Christmas, Dad!” 1010 chorused.

“I assume you all want to open presents right away?” Neon J said knowingly.

The excited expressions were enough of an answer.

The tree was in the downstairs living room, bedazzled in glowing lights and Christmas ornaments, some store-bought, some homemade. The tree-topper, an intricately carved angel, was Neon J’s handiwork. A mountain of presents sat under the branches, begging to be opened.

The six of them settled on the couch and chairs in the room, ready to start. It was White’s turn to hand out presents.

“Okay! So, here’s one for you, and one for you, and a big one for you Red, and oh hey, here’s the one I got for you, Dad…”

After a couple minutes of that, everyone was tearing open their presents.

“Whoa! You got me skis?!” Red said in excitement. “Thanks Dad! Does this mean we’re taking a vacation?”

“Possibly.” Neon J said, while checking out all the functions of his new Swiss Army knife.

“Woohoo!” Yellow pumped his fist in the air. “Green, my man! You know what I like!” He happily held up a boxed DVD set of Marvel movies.

“Aw, sweet! New headphones!” Blue said.

“Hey, a new toolkit!” Green said.

“Cool! I got… a Yinu record?” White looked at Blue, the giver of the present.

“Look inside.” Blue told him quietly.

White slid open the top of the sleeve, and slid out the record. Instead of Yinu’s logo decorating it, the words **_THE GOOLINGS_** looked back at him.

White looked at him in shock, and Blue smirked and sent him a system message.

**Blue: I thought you’d like that.**

**White: HOW?!**

**Blue: A lot of time on ebay and in record shops is how.**

White reached over to give him a hug. “Thanks, bro.”

Blue patted him on the back.

“Oh, hey Dad!” Green said suddenly. “I’ll go get my gift for you. I didn’t put it under the tree because I wanted it to charge overnight.” He ran out of the room.

A minute later, he came back with a small gift bag, and handed it to Neon J. “Here you are!”

Neon J pulled out the tissue paper, and reached into the bag. “What is this?” he wondered, taking out a strange device.

“It’s a robot! I made it myself!” Green burst out excitedly.

“Really? All on your own?” asked White as he and the others leaned in for a closer look.

“Yeah! I learned how in my robotics class!”

The robot was small, and it’s shape was basically a box with six legs on the bottom. Some of the wires were exposed, the soldering job was amateurish, the paint job was poor…

It was the most beautiful thing Neon J had ever seen.

“Does it do anything?” Red asked.

“There’s a remote control in the bag.” Green said. Neon J set the robot on the floor and turned it on. With a flick of the joystick, the robot skittered across the floor.

“That’s so cool!” said Yellow.

“That’s really good, Green. Nice job.” Blue said, giving Green a thumbs-up.

“Thanks guys, I think it’s pretty good for my first ever- whoa!”

Neon J had caught him up in a metal-crushing hug. “It’s amazing, Green.” he whispered.

“Dad, are you crying?” Yellow asked.

“I think you broke him, Green.” Red said.

“I’m glad you like it, Dad.” Green hugged him back. “You’re kinda crushing me…”

Neon J released him, slightly choked up. “I’m so proud of you…”

“Thanks Dad.” Green smiled.

* * *

A short while later, the gifts had all been opened, and the living room floor was a sea of wrapping paper and packaging.

Yellow had booted up his new video game, and he and Red were eagerly playing it together on the tv. White and Blue were looking through White’s new books, and discussing the contents. Green and Neon J were making Green’s robot walk back and forth across the floor. Soft Christmas tunes played in the background, and the lights from the tree shone on the happy family.

All in all, it was a nice Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, that wraps up this fic!
> 
> Real talk though, it hasn't been a very merry time for me. Both for obvious reasons (damned Covid), and personal ones.  
> But the knowledge that people enjoy reading my stories makes me feel better about everything. If my silly story about K-pop robots and their cyborg dad celebrating Christmas makes you all a little more jolly, that's enough for me. Writing these stories makes me feel happy, and I hope reading them makes you feel happy too.
> 
> I wish you all a merry Christmas, and a happy New Year!


End file.
